The Legend of Zelda: The Trapped God
by link2832
Summary: Lason has a curse on him. He needs Link to find the Mithical rod of Elements to lift the curse and return to the Heavens. Rated T for violence, language and mild sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

new story. god on earth. trapped he is.

disclaimer: don't own Zelda, do own Lason, the God of Beer, drink and parties.

The Legend of Zelda: The Trapped God

Prolouge

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"haaaa." I, Lason sighed as I got up from my meditation in the outer reaches of the wasteland known as the Desert Colosus.

I simply pulled out a flute and started playing the Bolero of Fire. babadabadada dadada. and warped to Death Mountain Crator. I thought about what my sisters had said. "Lason, we can't break it, but we have written into Link's destiny so that he will find the mythical rod that can free you of the curse." Nayru had replied calmly, sending him a telepathic message. I started the long walk to the Castle. 2 years ago I had mistakenly activated an old curse from some of the first few years that we had given magic to my people. I had been transported and trapped in the mortal world. I could not die, but I could be hurt. It was getting boring and I didn't have much of the power that I did in the heavens.

Soon I arrived in Kakariko Village, visiting an old friend for advice.

"WHAT! YOUR STILL A SKULLTULA!" I yelled, pissed that the Hero had not freed him as well.

"It's fine, Lason. My children are safe. You may spend the night here if you wish." the Skullman said.

"Thankyou" I replied, and sat down to think.

I went to the Castle the next day and found that the guards would not let me in. So I walked up to the gate, grabbed it, and lifted. Being a god had its advantages. The gate raised enough for me to walk through. I simply walked through the guards until I reached the Throne room. Several guards were following me.

"This isn't visiting day!" anonomous guard number73 yelled, running at me. He swung his spear like an axe, trying to cut me from the side. I caught it and pulled it out of his hand, broke it over my knee and walked toward the King, who had drawn his sword and now stood in front of his Queen, Zelda.

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**sorry it's so short. next chapter will be longer.**

**3 reviews before I update **


	2. Chapter 2

tomorrow is my B-day, so I updated anyway.

disclaimer: duh

The Legend of Zelda: A Trapped God

Chapter 2: The Forger...The Tester

"Who are you?" Link replied calmly.

"Lason, Hero of Time." I replied.

Zelda gaped, she was a very well read person and she knew of the little known god Lason.

"That isn't possible!" Zelda yelled.

"IMPOSTER!" Link yelled, running at me with the very blade that I presented to my sister, Kariah, the Goddess of Time. Link came at me, swung down and tried to dismember me. I let him hit me. The blade didn't even cause a scratch.

"hehehehe. You would need a very evil blade to hurt Me, Link" I calmly replied. Link gaped.

"only a god or a goddess can't be hurt by this blade." Link said, very quietly.

"Not just any God or Godess, only the Forger and the Owner. That would be Me, and Kariah, who I gave the Blade to. Now you know. But will you beleive me? Will you journey with me to find the Rod of Elements? You need not answer now, but think it over, and think what that Rod would do for your land as well as for me. It would purify the land for the next 3 millenia. Wouldn't that be worth it by itself?" I said, wondering what he was thinking, for I could not read minds, only Nayru can read and write them.

"I...I must talk with my counsel and my wife before I answer you" Link replied after a few minutes.

"Very well. Meet me at Lake Hylia in 2 days with your answer" I said, whipped out my flute, and played the Serenade of Water.

Two days later Link arrived with enough food to last us 2 weeks and all of his weapons from his adventure, and a purse full of ruppees. We mounted our horses, Epona and Worda, and rode off towards the Lost Woods.

"The land we are going to is beyond the Lost Woods in the Land of Syrria. We will meet many perils, so we will also fill 4 bottles each with fairies," I explained as we rode.

"Why not simply warp to the Lost Woods to get fairies?" Link asked.

"Then we wouldn't have the horses." I replied.

"Ha. That fool Lason thinks he can beat me with just the Hero of Time and Himself." said a dark voice, looking into a crystal ball.

"Master, shall I go against them?" asked a second, more sinister voice.

"No, not yet. I have plans for them yet. I have already laid the first traps for them. Remember, only I can hurt Lason, so when and if they get here, attack Link first." the first voice said.

"Muahahahahahaha."

"Why bother fighting Wolfos and Stalfos when we can just ride past?" I asked Link after we had filled our bottles from a fairy fountain Link knew about.

"Dunno. Just a habit, I guess" Link replied as we exited the forest on the far side.

"Well, they might end up being our only friends, so break that habit. I created them, along with the Gorons, fine race, Gorons." I said, basking in the moment.

"stop, Lason." said a voice to our right. I stopped us.

"Kariah? Is that you?" I asked.

"yes, take this, it will help." she said, dropping something and then dissappeared.

"What the Hell?" Link said, looking at what she dropped.

"She's playing games with us, again." I replied. Walking over and picking the thing up, when I realized what it was, my face lit up.

"Link, she's given us the Pendant of Time! Now we only need 5 pendants to awaken and use the Rod of Elements!" I cried, mounting up again.

"What a stroke of luck!" Link said, time having erased his feelings for seeing any God or Goddess in their true form.

Then, all of a sudden, 5 Stalfos attack us.

"Get behind me." I said.

"Don't try to protect me!" Link replied.

"I'm immortal, and I created them. If anyone has to kill them, let it be me." I said, hoping he would heed my words. He did. I talked to the Stalfos in their own tongue for a little while, trying to persuade them to not make me kill them. They refused. I sliced into one, then had time to cut their life-lines using my magic since I created them.

"WHAT! HOW DID HE KILL THEM THAT FAST!" dark voice yelled, throwing things and destroying half of his temple in the process.

"Didn't he create them, Master?" the second voice said.

"uuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghh. They haven't won yet." he said, as he watched the two Twinrova Sisters come down upon them.

**Hah! a cliffie! sorry about the lame fight scene with the Stalfos, the one with the Twinrova sisters will be better!**

**3 reviews 1 update **


	3. A fight and the next level

Disclaimer: I own Lason, Kariah owns Kariah(great stories by the way!) and Nintendo owns Zelda and Link.

The Trapped God

Chapter 3: New Strategies

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Lason's POV

"NOO!" I shouted as I saw the Twinrova sisters combine a fire and ice blast and freeze Link in pink ice. I quickly pulled out a bottle of blue fire and through it at him as I saw them shoot at me. I watched in horror as I was being frozen and the bottle bounced off of Link...

Link's POV

Suddenly, I was frozen. Then I felt warmth slowly coming up my leg. Lason must be melting me... Then, I saw. Lason was frozen in pink ice, and their was glass on the ground next to my feet. I pulled out the Mirror shield to figure out what had frozen both of us. Then I saw them, as one, firing a strange blast at me. I dodged until they started firing regular blasts at me, concluding that the new blast was what had gotten me, then Lason. As soon as I had 3 blasts saved up I unleashed it, hitting their combined form, then I struck them with the Master Sword, once, twice, three times, four, and they died. They were amazingly weak with their new power. Link pulled out a bottle of Blue Fire and unfroze Lason.

Lason's POV

I could feel a battle going on, then, it stopped. I felt warmth creeping up my leg, and I prepared to fight... but realized I didn't have to when I saw Link standing over me. "Huh, the bottle I threw didn't break, how were you unfrozen?"

"It must have broken when it hit the ground then, because there's a broken bottle over where I was frozen." Link replied, starting up the fire again.

"I'll grab some food from the saddle bags," I said, walking away to think and get the food.

"What? How is that possible? I made sure they didn't have blue fire before I sent the Sisters in!" dark voice numero uno(one) said while fixing his Temple.

"um, maybe he can make blue fire, sir." dark voice numero dos(two) said.

"Okay, so now we need the Pendants of Water, Wind, Fire and Earth, just to open the Temple up. Then we need the Pendants of Time and Life, although we already have the Pendant of Time.

"So, where do we start?" Link said.

"You brought your water tunic and Iron Boots, right?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Yes... so that means we're going the the bottom of a lake, right?" Link replied, wondering what would happen if he left Lason here and went there by himself.

"Well... yes and no. We are going to something like a lake, but the people have called it a Loch, the Loch Ness. And their is a myth about a Monster there..." I said, thinking about what I had heard about the monster. It was silent for some time. Then:

"We're going to have to defeat it to get the Pendant of Water, aren't we." Link thought aloud.

"Yes..." I said, wondering if I could possibly communicate with it and convince it to give us the Pendant so we wouldn't have to kill it.

Two days later we arrived at a town on the border of a Lake.. er .. Loch.

"Nessie'll eat your eyes, fry your liver and bite your private parts off if he catches you!" a villager told us.

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**hah. a cliffie. muahahahahaha**

**3reviews 1 chapter **


	4. God that would suck

god (heh) sorry for the long update, but I had a major case of writer's block and almost died 3 times(cough, wheeze, cough)

and I'll have the full Temple and boss in this chapter.

now, for chappie 4

The Legend of Zelda: The Trapped God

Chapter 4: OH MY GOD MY PENIS JUST GOT BIT OFF!

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Link's POV

Man, I hope he doesn't have a spell on me or something, cuz I'm usually not this open, especially with Gods, or people who think they're gods.

"Oh, I think the Docks are over there..." Link said, pointing Northeast.

"Yes, I believe so, but we need to replenish our supplies first." Lason said, heading over to a shop.

We soon had reinforced bottles that held 2 red fairies(they heal both magic and life) that were native to this land. They also got more food and fresh water.

Then we went over to the docks and made preperations for a single rowboat. A teenager approached us.

"You goin' out on the Loch in a rowboat?" the boy said.

"Yes, but you can't come." Lason stated quickly, knowing that the villagers would pay dearly for the corpse of good ol' Nessie.

"And why not?" the boy said, in a sly monotone.

"Because Nessie'll eat your eyes, fry your liver and bite your private parts off." Link said matter of factly.

"Ahh, you listen to ol' Tucker too much. He ain't ever even see lil' ol' Nessie." the boy said.

"No, I won't risk you, you're to young." Link replied sharply, staring into the boy's eyes and finding well hidden fear, but also a strange confidence, that seemed familiar to him...

"You could row us out and then take the boat back," Lason said, ignoring Link's death glare.

"It would come at a price... but ok. Oh, by the way, the name's Tairo. And I have a boat you could use, to." Tairo said, looking slightly greedy.

"How much?" Lason automatically said.

"250 rupees." Tairo demanded.

"Let's see the boat first." Link said before Lason could respond.

Tairo led them around the docks to his boat, giving Link a little time to think.

_Goddesses, why do trust Lason so? Why does he have so much money? Is he really what he says he is? Are there more than three triforce parts, one for each god or goddess? Why_

Lason's POV

_Link is heavy in thought. Why did the boy approach us so candidly? Sisters, can you not hear me?** yes, we can, the boy is simply a pawn. watch your back. you can't be sure of anything or anyone.  
**_

"Link, we're here" Lason stated, bringing Link out of his thoughts.

"This here's me ship fellas." Tairo stated.

The "ship" was a small, raggedy rowboat that barely stayed above water. I knew at that moment that if he went out with us, he either wouldn't leave at all, or wouldn't leave in one piece, and would definitely try to stay with us. He needed money badly. I looked it over and considered placing a few spells on it.

"I'll--" Link started, but was quickly cut off by Lason.

"We'll take it." Lason said, handing the boy 1 gold ruppee, 2 red ruppees, and 2 blue ruppees.

"It's a done deal" stated Tairo, greedily snatching up the money and placing it in a pouch.

"When do we head out?" Lason asked, a strange glint in his eye.

"Tomorrow--" Tairo started, but was cut off by Link.

"Now, or We'll take our money back." Link said, even though he knew that Lason was about to say that.

Tairo cursed under his breath and got into the boat. He could swim well enough, but he couldn't stay underwater as he beleived they were going to.

The small group started out. Lason watched for any ripple as Tairo rowed. Link prepared himself for what would be just like the Water Temple.

Suddenly, without warning, Nessie rose from underneath them and bit at them before they could react. The boat flipped, but soon all three were on top of it. Nessie roared and swallowed them, boat and all, her teech ripping some part of their bodies off.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD MY PENIS JUST GOT BIT OFF!" Tairo yelled, while blood gushed from his crotch. He quickly pulled out a bottle and opened it, releasing a fairy that healed his wounds, but did not make him regrow a penis. "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO" Tairo screamed, causing Nessie to shudder and fill her stomach with water.

"Link, do you remember your adventure in Jabu Jabu's belly?" Lason asked.

"Unfortunately. Why?" Link replied calmly.

"I telepathically talked to Nessie before she swallowed us and she said that there was a thing inside of her that needed to be destroyed and that she had been hoping someone she swallowed could kill it, but no one has yet." I said, waiting for a response.

"How far in is it? I would like to get out of here soon." Tairo interupted."Mom's gonna skin me." he muttered under his breath.

"Not far, but there is something we need to get first." I said, answering Tairo's question.

"What do we need to get first?" Link said.

"A special weapon. An axe. A golden axe that I created hundreds of years ago. It is the only weapon that can defeat Mushi-scushi." I said, swimming off in one direction.

We soon arrived in a room. A room that Link had seen before. A room filled with mist.

"My shadow carries it." I said.

"But their are three shadows here, Tairo, I hope you have a weapon." I said, walking forward.

Tairo unsheathed dual daggers while Link drew his Biggoron sword.

The fight began.

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**sorry, I lied, next chapter will have the rest of this Temple and the start of the next.**

**haha, I did a cliffie! **


	5. A new shiny thing, and a new Pendant

**sorry for the long wait, I just broke my leg and my parents made me spend 2 weeks offline, then had to go to a doctor for X-rays. sucks.**

**The Legend of Zelda: The Trapped God**

**Chapter 5 A shiny axe, a backstabber, and another pendant.**

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Lason's POV

I quickly moved into the room, knowing exactly what to do. Strike first, full force. I unslung my battle ax, knowing if the Golden Ax struck my pitiful little ax my axe would shatter completely. I headed straight for the tree in the middle of the room and stopped when a golden axe appeared and started towards my head. I stopped and ducked, coming up with a swing that would cut any ordinary man in half. Of course, I'm no ordinary man, so it was just a wound on my shadow. A deep wound that was bleeding a hell of alot of shadowy blood. Soon I had finished off my shadow with a blow to it's head, making it dissappear in a puff of smoke, leaving a nice, big, Golden Axe on the floor. I scooped it up.

Link's POV

_God Lason is fast! He moved right into the fog just like it was his home!_ I followed him in with only a moment's hesitation, remembering my first fight with my shadow and how easy it had been. I stepped fearlessly into the mist and confronted my shadow. "And we meet again. Still silent?" I said, mocking him into attack and shoving my sword up over his defences and down his throat. He dissappeared in a puff of smoke and left Link regarding himself. _He wasn't that easy last time... maybe I'm stronger, or maybe it has something to do with Lason..._

Tairo's POV

_God those two are fearless. Maybe I shouldn't have taken this job so lightly..._ Tairo split the fog and saw his shadow hiding against the wall.(After all, shadows are close to the opposite of the real person) Tairo simply walked up and drove his daggers into the head of his shadow, killing it effectively. _Wow, that was easy. No wonder they were so fearless. God, how am I going to fulfill--  
_

"Hey, Tairo, you comin?" Link asked from the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm comin, hold your horses." Tairo replied, running after them.

Lason's POV

"Now, I do not know what lies behind this door, but whatever it is, we will defeat it. Tairo, do you want to wait here or come in with us?" I asked, pondering why his shadow had been cowering before him and thinking about the natures of shadows.

"Well, I came this far, I might as well go the rest." Tairo replied, his voice shaking slightly.

We walked into the room, then Link recognized it, jumped in and got on a platform.

"This is just like..." Link started, looking back at us, then he looked forward and was slammed so hard he was sent into the door behind us and knocked unconcious.

I quickly grabbed his longshot and shot it into the thing, bringing it to me and swinging my axe into it at the same time, then jumping away and repeating the process, when all of a sudden a blinding pain hit me and I blacked out...

Link's POV

_Ow, Godesses that hurt like hell. Wait a Sec Tairo just... _

"Oh, no you don't, you little fucking bastard"I said, lunging and driving his blade into Tairo's side.

"hhhhhhhhhsssssssss, That hurt, you'll pay for that!" Tairo replied, moving into an attack stance.

Suddenly, Tairo was thrown forward into I, a small silver ball bouncing back into the water and swimming off.We werequickly pounding and stabbing at each other, until the silver ball made a vortex and sucked Tairo and Link down underwater, and since Tairo couldn't breathe, he was trying to get out of the water.I quickly put onmy Iron Boots and grabbed Tairo, effectively holding him underwater. Soon Tairo was dead. Then a silvery ball slammed into me, reminding me that there was a battle to be won. I quickly jumped out of the water and raced to Lason, grabbed my longshot and Lason's axe, and remembered my first fight with a creature like this. I quickly shot the longshot into it, waited until it was next to me, then brought the axe down in a two handed swing that cut the thing in half, which, obviously, killed it.

Lason's POV

"Ugh, LINK!" I shouted, healed at last.

"It's ok, Lason. Tairo's dead. He stabbed you in the back." Link replied calmly.

"What about that thing?" I asked.

"Dead, and the Pendant of Life is right here." Link explained.

"Good. Now we should get the Pendant of Wind from the Skull Forest." I said, comtemplating how to get there.

Then, all of a sudden, we were thrown out of Nessie. We landed hard on the docks of the Loch town. We got up calmly, told the bewildered sailors Nessie wouldn't bother them to much any more and headed for the nearest restaurant. Two hours later we were well fed and headed on our way. I lead us with the instincts of a God, so we were soon lost. Fortunately, we came upon a small town, and the villagerstold us we were only a few miles away from Skull Forest, but a few had been to the Temple and said you needed some sort of special axe to get into it. I smiled and realized the people in charge of making the Temples had been in possession of my Axe. We finally arrive to the Temple with 2 very tired horses. I simply took all of Worda's equipment off of him, brushed the sweat off of him, then moved to the Keyhole. I stuck my axe into it, then pulled it out, as the door opened a harsh wind blew out at us. What dangers would we face in there?

**To Be Continued...**

**dun dun dunnnnnn!**

**I did it! My first dungeon is COMPLETE!**

**Next one shouldn't be to far behind...**


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